Nourishing Nuggets

A Branch of Ginkgo Lane, Behind a Troll Wall (Paywall)

Oct 30, 2022

Ginkgo Lane: Nourishing Nuggets

Catch Up: In the original post about Ginkgo Lane titled “Showing Up”, I discussed an American Healthcare problem regarding Formal Caregiver Services. In it, I presented the problem using SBAR format, ending with the recommendation I’m calling Gingko Lane. It helped to name the problem (Formal Caregiver Services in the Community) so I could point to it, and also to the solution (Ginkgo Lane). Even the names are helpful in pointing the way (Service and Lane). Are you following me on this tangent (branch) so far?

Forward, Together Forward: The next branch I wish to present is Nourishing Nuggets. I have also written/spoken in some of my posts about Healing and the Journey towards Thriving. (Throughout this post are links to my older free posts, and I envision this as a way to join for the first time, or decide if the paywall is worth it. But more on that later. Also, I think of this font as like whispering, or taking you the reader to the side for a quick sidebar. Additionally, I post links as a light on a tangent, you can go then and there, or come back after you finish reading the post as time allows. I’m going to try to remember to explain them so you can decide if it’s worth a click now or later. Let’s go back to the branch I was telling you about).

I haven’t always used words or titles that make sense, because I was discovering my writing abilities in the virtual world. “Healing” for me is how I’m moving along the path toward Thriving. A tool I used was the book Healing by Theresa Brown, RN (you can see more on her website www.theresabrownrn.com or on her Substack, which I follow and recommend if you can find it on your own. If not, here’s a link: The Healing Newsletter). I discussed it a bit in my open letter to her, which she responded to gracefully, timely, and helped me feel heard in the Substack and Instagram communities. What a gift to the profession of nursing, as I hope to be for Healthcare Workers in the Community Setting.

I used this post here to Begin Again recently. Words Matter. My Voice Matters. My Ideas Matter. This is how I show up. Virtually, and In Real Life.

I write on Substack, send my words into the ether, and wonder if it’ll resonate. I was recently followed by another user who is engaging with his followers in a unique way on Substack. His name is Matt, and his Substack: Matt, is a well-curated way to discuss virtually. It feels like a gallery for a writer. And I have enjoyed the taste I’ve had so far. His work resonates with me. I have had many other lights on the path forward, like George Saunders, Jeff Tweedy, and Nick Offerman, who have helped me find a Troll-Free corner of the internet. Thanks, fellas!! I follow them Here (George Saunders’ Story Club), Here (Jeff Tweedy on the Starship Casual) and Here (Nick Offerman and his Donkey Thoughts).

I also follow a local epidemiologist who is helping me take little bites of the world around me without overdosing.

And others. Because their content resonates with me. When something resonates, I smash that subscribe button. I like it, I love it, I need some more of it.

And then I dabble. As time and energy allow. I pick up and put down different authors on print, online, and In Real Life.

So, enough about me and my Substack Habits, let’s get to Nourishing Nuggets!! I really want to tell you, but we have to take a little stroll to get there.

Why am I hear?

I am afraid of Healthcare-Capital-H right now. I’ve used boat metaphors to describe it a few times, which helps me put it into words People In The Community can understand. I’ve also used quilting metaphors, like this one on the Fabric of Modern American Healthcare. I’ve lived in fear, I let it consume me, I let it affect my usual patterns. I surrendered to the fear in many ways. It felt like a weight over me. The weight of the world, put on my own shoulders. And I asked, “Why am I hearing, seeing, sensing this? Why? Is it all for nothing? Is it futile, if we’re all compost in the end anyway?…” I felt like I was yelling into the abyss. The abyss of the Internet, and the abyss of Healthcare-Capital-H. I even quietly screamed an open letter to an executive at my company like this. (Of note, I’m learning how to use my words, and she ALSO responded gracefully. With tact. And swiftly. Thank you, Mary Beth Kingston. You are a woman of fiber, and an unflappable leader).

They all heard me. They helped me feel heard. I felt heard for a reason. I now understand that I do have their attention. My boss, my boss’s boss, and my boss’s boss’s boss (Mary Beth). I called, they responded. I call, they respond. I call, they respond. Again, and again, and again.

Who are these people?

My boss is working at what I envision is the Apex of Community Health Nursing Education & Leadership. She is the Leader of the Educators for Healthcare in the Community (at our company). I only knew her from a distance in the early parts of the Pandemic. I observed her role, and the role of the Home Health Educator.

I was Just a Nurse.

Just a Nurse by a Gingko Tree at the Morton Arboretum in Lisle, Illinois. Tree Church. A Haven. Sanctuary. Heaven on Earth.

I observed patterns of communication, and how if I asked a question, I got a response. Call, response, call, response. My boss, too, is unflappable.

Her boss is working at what I envision is the Apex of Community Health Nursing Leadership. She is the Leader of the Nursing Leaders for Healthcare in the Community (at our company). She was also my mentor in grad school. She was my sherpa through a project that involved my graduate school coursework and a program in the company that I now work for. She helped us unbundle our ideas. She guided us. She did not let go of us as the Pandemic took hold, and our preceptorship turned virtual, and our patterns changed. My boss’s boss, too, is unflappable. I haven’t thanked her yet, and I intend to the next time I see her (hopefully Monday at work).

Are you seeing a pattern?

When I call, my “Employer” responds. And that pattern has continued. I honor it by continuing to work here, speak up when I see a problem, shine a light in what I believe is the “right” direction, and surrender the next steps to the wind. Over my shoulder. Or the brilliant minds of my colleagues. I’m learning from them how to be unflappable, too.

What have I learned?

I’m learning how to further Heal on the path to Thriving using Nontraditional Medicine. As a nurse, working in Healthcare, with “Benefits” and a retired “Pension” (no longer accruing, just sitting there till I’m old enough to have my earnings), and Paid Time Off, and all that jazz, I’ve been surviving for a while.

I have the luxury (privilege) of seeking help using the “Traditional Modern American Healthcare” options. Options/Benefits like: Provider Visits (Doctors, Nurse Practitioners, Psychiatrists); Therapy and Rehabilitation (Counseling, Physical, Occupational, or Speech Therapy, Outpatient Services, Inpatient Services, Virtual Services), Pharmaceuticals (prescribed and over-the-counter medications (under the advisement of a provider’s office’s phone), and so on. It’s hard to see yet what’s helped, because it was a very cloudy, uncomfortable adjustment.

Which led me to “Nontraditional” remedies. Like music (Wookiefoot, Nahko and Medicine for the People, Trevor Hall, The Avett Brothers, Bo Burnham, Bob’s Burgers, The Great North, Nick Offerman, Jeff Tweedy, Wilco, Steve Martin & the Rangers, Goose, John Prine, Jack Johnson, Frank Turner, Mayaada, and more more more more yum yum yum!!!! (I follow many on Instagram. I follow what resonates @jessiehammersmithrn on IG).

Music has almost always been a source of healing for me. In hindsight, it was a lovely distraction. In hindsight, I have been numbing. Quieting my mind, or tuning it out.

Numbing

Numbing as I view it might involve chemical or non-chemical treatments. Lidocaine is a medication that numbs. It is also used to treat a heart problem, numb the skin, and provide painless dental care or minor procedures. Lidocaine is a chemical. It is a medication. It is also available in Cepacol throat lozenges to numb the mouth and throat. Over the Counter. I tried numbing my cough with medications (some over-the-counter, others prescription). Regardless, Pharmaceuticals have not been helping with this illness (or whatever it’s called).

I have seen several doctors in recent months. I saw my old primary’s partner. I saw my old primary. I saw my new primary. I saw her partner while she was on maternity leave. I saw a psychiatrist. My primary doctor appointments, any urgent care or anything requiring hands/imaging/ears on my body (this has been the primary way to get Pharmaceutical treatments prescribed, or an answer that’s not “there’s nothing more I can do for you”). I obeyed instructions like the Rule Follower I’ve been. I did not get the results I was expecting, and when I called because my “symptoms didn’t improve or got worse”, I did NOT get an answer that was warm. Comfortable. Consoling. Understanding. Compassionate. I got a Healthcare-Capital-H answer, and I felt like I was dismissed. Dropped. I felt Healthcare failing me. And I felt morally distressed (I’m finding the words for that right now).

Don’t You Should on Me

Moral Distress is where I find the word “Should”.

“Should” means it IS one way, but SHOULD be another.

“Should” means it IS the necessary action, but SHOULD be different.

“Should” is a judgment. A rating. A score.

“Should” is a main ingredient in most Modern Religions and Healthcare organizations.

We Should: do what’s right, use our words, feel accepted, seek belonging.

You Should: keep following me down this branch/tangent because I have a request!

I Should: figure out how to leverage The Dude and harness Brevity.

But in the words of Bo Burnham, and my follow up here: I’m Healing the World With Comedy. And in the words of Wookiefoot, don’t you Should on me! (PS: If youtube.com doesn’t get their shit together, I’m going to stop posting links to videos on my Substack. I’m noticing a lot of cold negative ads opening songs that are warm and loving. I’m not spreading that stinky shit here, so if it continues, you’ll have to find the music yourself. I’ll point the way, don’t worry!!)

SBAR Ends with Request

My Request (This Tangential SBAR was brought to you by the Power of Prayer and Family Medicine and Time):

Be Fearless and Play Manifesto

Surrender and Release the Rains

I cannot, will not, continue to talk this problem out alone.

I cannot, will not, watch myself fall into the pit of despair again.

I cannot, will not, accept that this is as good as it gets.

I cannot, will not seek advice from those who have not earned my attention.

I cannot, will not turn away from a person who is requesting my time politely, kindly, and compassionately.

I cannot, will not follow a Leader whose path does not resonate with me.

I cannot, will not pour from an empty cup.

I cannot, will not overserve anyone with My Time.

I cannot, will not…… Ever Again allow myself to Numb My Boundaries. Numb My Spirit. Numb My Instincts. Numb My Spidey Senses. Numb My Beliefs.

Manifest and Create Belonging

I Will, though, hear you out.

I will seek the opinions of others.

I will seek voices of the Frontline.

I will elevate voices that need to resonate beyond my heart, stories that beg to be told.

I will give a bit of myself to this Act of Service. I will only give of my abundance. I will only give as I am able. And I will surrender when this Act of Service begins to feel like a Chore.

I will allow myself to serve humanity from where I am, be it a computer screen, a home, a facility, or in nature.

I will ask for help, again and again, until I feel like I’ve been helped.

I will not allow the problems of the world to weigh me into immobility. Stagnation. Depression. Anxiety. Neurodivergence. Panic. Fear. Restlessness. Insomnia. Liver Failure. Kidney Failure. Respiratory Failure. Diabetes. Heart Failure.

I have used my Emergency Break too much recently. For care, appointments, rest, and restoration.

I deserve to be here, and so do you.

I am READY to THRIVE. Are you?

And with that being, sort of like a Manifesto, I’m going to ask for your help now.

Take Your Power Back

Help Wanted

This right here, we’ll call it the Elevator Speech eventually. It usually comes after a Business Plan is written, and is a tool for discussing an idea with people who are in a hurry. An Elevator Speech is a way to take a big, long, complicated, wicked problem (like Formal Caregiver Services in the Community) and turn it into a Small Bite. Or, maybe a Nugget.

Elevator Speech Example:

I have an idea I’m calling Nourishing Nuggets. A branch of Ginkgo Lane. I will post as frequently as time allows, my time, when it feels warm and inviting. (In rereading and editing, I turned COULD into IS. Thanks for your patience if I missed any others in the process).

Nourishing Nuggets are morsels. Bites. Chunks. Tastes.

A Nourishing Nugget might be an encouraging story about a Fearless Red Cap who finds a Community.

Another Nourishing Nugget might be a nurse just taking a rest (or Sabbath), chatting about Music and Books with others online, finding personal and professional boundaries (link to post Crossing the Streams), (a collage of links to older posts if you’d like to catch up:) Surrendering Worry Burs, Manifesting Hope by starting a conversation about a medicinal book called Healing, Envisioning a Journey to Thriving (My Garden Lady’s Heaven on Earth), Coming To Life and Light through Music and Spiritual Healing (who needs sleep, anyway?), And Following a Light (What Light, Your Light. Inside.), through music (put down what you are carrying) and restoring my belief that we all do well when we ALL do WELL (thriving).

So are you ready kids? Are you ready to plant some good seeds in my Garden of Thriving?

Action Items

I’m requesting a consult. I’d like to hear from you, my reader, my listener, my audience, my confidant, my colleague, my friend, my family, my people, my community.

Hello, Be Fearless and Play Community! Welcome! Let’s begin again:

I’m working on a Business Plan called Gingko Lane, and I’m sitting around a fire and sharing stories about it and other musings, ramblings, and tangents in Nourishing Nuggets.

Would you like to join me there? I’ll be adding a paywall as this content will take a bit more effort.

You see, I’d like to bring in the voices of others. Formally. Not just as I retell a story I heard, or heard told.

I want to engage (interact) with the voices of the stories I know. The ones I don’t. And have open, heartfelt, vulnerable conversations about a scary thing in the world right now: OPINIONS. Not onions. Not stinky. Not judgmental. Just an assessment and a VIEWPOINT. An Opinion.

I haven’t forgotten that Opinions are Subjective (meaning they are an interpretation of facts). Opinions are Beliefs.

And just like stinky butts, poop, and farts, WE ALL HAVE THEM.

So, what’s YOUR opinion?

Would you like to join me behind the paywall? I believe it’s around $6/month. The way I see it is, I’ll put it up and see who comes. I will continue to post for free as I develop my business plan. I will continue to share that process in as visible a way as possible through this version of social media. I will share what I learned in grad school, what I’ve learned as a nurse, and how that fits into this project and might be applicable to other professionals, students, or interested parties.

The Business Plan for Gingko Lane is no secret. It’s a work-in-progress and is a collaboration of many minds and experiences who are all pointing to a mutual need in our communities. I will not work on it alone, but I alone will share the process. The unfolding. The ups, and downs (but hopefully fewer downs, because the internet is already a bit of a bummer. Or at least, that’s my opinion). Gingko Lane: Business Plan Development will be free and open to the masses. The voices. It will not be a privilege to help create that content.

Nourishing Nuggets, a work of Heart. Is a Collaborative. A Co-Op. A Beehive. It needs to be protected. It’s vulnerable. It will get a little rough. Grit helps things and people keep moving. So does Gumption. And Tenacity. Twirling. And resting.

If anyone who reads this finds $6/month to be a barrier, please reach out to me (tangentialmango@substack.com) and I will bring you around the paywall safely. But please just use your words. You could copy/paste this phrasing right here: Hello! I was interested in following Nourishing Nuggets, but I got blocked by the paywall. Could you let me in? And I will do so as soon as time allows. And if I forget, or miss the message, or seem to be withholding, please ask me again. Sometimes it takes 3 times (especially in children’s books, like the one I’m working on with my daughter). So don’t be afraid to ask again. You can’t hurt my feelings. (Well, I mean, I’m sure you could, but not by asking for help).

There’s nothing there yet, because I spent all this time writing THIS post. So, when I’m ready, I’ll put up an intro and set up a paywall and all that jazz. Not yet, but soon. So in the meantime, my real request. Your OPINION.

What’s YOUR opinion? Who would YOU like to see engaged behind The Wall? Like the show Hilda, the Wall is to keep out the Trolls. Who would feel safe talking behind a wall about an experience like what I’ve been sharing on Be Fearless and Play?

Whose stories could use some warmth, some light, some comfort?

Who would like to come sit by my fire, and share their own story? Or, whose story do you think needs to be told next?

I’ve spent enough time telling MY story of the way I see Healthcare-Capital-H. Enough of that. I surrender.

Be Fearless and Play